Now or Never
by Adri Skywalker
Summary: Based on the song '30 minutes' by T.A.T.U. Padme must decide whether to marry Anakin, or be forced to part once more.


' Now or Never '

By: Adri Skywalker

Genre: Romance/Angst (mild)/Songfic

Couplings: Anakin/Padmé

Song: '30 minutes' by T.A.T.U

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Sure, but please email me and ask to make sure ^_^ Thanks!

. . .

Senator Amidala would have loved nothing more than to fall into a deep, warm sleep and never wake up again. She had failed. Instead of preventing war, she'd caused it.

__

If only I was strong enough…

She'd learned long ago as Queen that lies, deceit, and greed got you nothing. You had to earn the people's trust before they would even give you the time of day. But even as she'd practiced this throughout her career, the turmoil in the Galaxy slowly gave way to doubt that nothing could stop the coming storm. Because she wasn't strong enough, her friends nearly died and her planet nearly came crashing down.

Obi-Wan had suffered fairly harsh injuries protecting her from a Sith Lord. 

She groaned. Yet one more lie that blinded her from the truth. 

And what about Anakin?

__

Anakin…

A warm feeling washed over Padmé and her heart began to beat faster. He had risked so much for her. Not only his life, but his place in the Jedi Order. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she thought back to the arena and the beautiful moment they'd shared when they thought they were going to die. 

The last thought struck her like a thunderbolt. _When they thought they were going to die… _But they'd survived. What now? Should they run away and live in bliss? Or be torn apart?

__

"30 minutes till we arrive in Coruscant…"

With a start, Padmé sat straight up in bed, wincing slightly when the wounds the Nexu gave her throbbed I protest. 30 minutes away from home and she hadn't even bothered to see how Anakin was doing. Rising, she fought her pain and made her way through the darkened ship to the surgical recovery wing. She smiled in relief as she read Anakin's name on the door. As she reached for the doorknob, she hesitated. If she walked in the door she knew what would happen. She wanted it badly, but she slowly realized that they would have to hide. Forever. Letting the tears fall, she opened the door, not bothering to wipe her face.

Out of sight, out of mind

Out of time…to decide…

Do we run? Should I hide?

For the rest of my life…

Padmé smiled as she saw Anakin's beautiful cerulean eyes open.

__

" Padmé…"

"Ani…"

Running over to the bed Padmé tightly embraced her lover with Anakin returning the hug just as fiercely. _"Are you alright?"_

"What this?" Anakin chuckled looking at his golden arm. _"Nah, I've been through worse."_

"I'm glad." Padmé began crying again. _"Oh love, don't cry. Tears don't suit you." _Anakin took his real hand and wiped the tears from Padmé's face. Looking into her amber eyes with that intense look- oh how she loved that look –whispered in her ear _"I love you…" _

This only made the tears fall harder. _"I love you too…so much!" _She sobbed as Anakin cradled her. _"Sshhh…" _he whispered, trying to console her. The embrace made her feel as though she were flying, but she couldn't stop the sense of dread

she was feeling. They were so close to home…so close to being torn apart again. Maybe for the rest of their lives. She couldn't stand the thought and began to sob harder.

Anakin, sensing her thoughts wiped the tears again from her face. _"It doesn't have to be this way angel…"_

Eyes going wide, Padmé began to protest. _'Oh Ani no we'd be caught and we'd be even worse off…" _His lips silenced her. 

__

"I don't care. All I've ever wanted from life was my freedom. And when I met you…I never felt freer in my life. If I can't have you…then I don't want any part of my Order." His gaze pierced her soul.

__

"Ani I couldn't ask you to give up your happiness…" 

__

"My happiness is YOU."

Padmé sighed heavily. He wasn't going to give in. _"But what if we fail?"_

Can we fly? Do I stay…?

We could lose…we could fail…

And the moment it takes,

To make plans…or mistakes…

"We won't."

She leaned up and kissed him softly. He returned the kiss with more passion. _"I'm asking you a lot love…but will you be my soulmate?"_

"Yes…but…"

Anakin's eyes went wide. Buts weren't good. 

She laughed at his horrified expression. _"No love…I mean aren't we already soulmates?"_

Anakin released the breath he wasn't aware he was holding. He laughed softly with his lover and replied, _"Of course."_

Carefully wrapping his arms around his angel, they began to kiss. And for the first time in their lives, they felt pure bliss. 

30 minutes the blink of an eye…

30 minutes to alter our lives…

30 minutes to make up my mind…

30 minutes to finally decide…

30 minutes to whisper your name…

30 minutes to shoulder the blame…

30 minutes for bliss…

30 lies…

30 minutes to finally decide.

For the first time in her life, Padmé was terrified. She felt as though as this was the calm before the storm, and that the storm would destroy her…them. She thought of how this day would change their lives forever…and of the thousands of lies they would have to tell. Taking he a deep breath, she reprimanded herself. _I've already decided._

Carousels in the sky, that we shape with our eyes…

Under shade, silhouettes, casting shame, crying rain…

Anakin stood at the roses where they would be wed. The golden sunset cast it's light on them and made them look even more beautiful. He sighed. If the light cast it's spell on the roses, imagine what it would do to his angel. She would look positively celestial. _How perfect… _His eyes began to wander toward the golden star. A few clouds surrounded it. Fleetingly he began to imagine the clouds as shapes. A rabbit…a horse…a bird. He sighed sadly. _I wish I could fly Padmé some place where we could be free. Just us, no one to tell us we're wrong, or crazy. _His thoughts were derailed by the alluring image in front of him. _My angel… _He wanted to cry. He didn't deserve her.

Can we fly? Do I stay?

We could lose…we could fail…

Either way, options change…

Chances fade, trains derail…

"What's wrong love? You should be happy…"

"I am…I'm just thinking of how lucky I am. That you came to me and saved me from never waking up lonely again." 

Padmé smiled and kissed him softly. Anakin slipped his arms around her and cradled her. Together they waited in front of the sunset for the holy man. 

30 minutes till they would be wed.

30 minutes the blink of an eye…

30 minutes to alter our lives…

30 minutes to make up my mind…

30 minutes to finally decide…

30 minutes to whisper your name…

30 minutes to shoulder the blame…

30 minutes for bliss…

30 lies…

30 minutes to finally decide.

At long last, the holy man arrived. Clearing his throat to get the couples attention, he began. _"If there is any who believe these people should not be wed, speak now or forever remain silent." _It didn't matter to the couple though. Nothing was stopping this wedding. _"Anakin Skywalker, do you take Padmé Amidala Naberrie as your lawfully wedded wife, to be joined in mind, body, and soul?"_

"I do, with all my heart…"

Padmé began to cry softly. _"And do you Padmé Amidala Naberrie take Anakin Skywalker as your lawfully wedded husband, to be joined in mind, body, and soul?"_

I've made up my mind.

To decide…

"I do…forever."

. . .

Hope you liked it ^_^ Please tell me what you think in a review or feel free to email me @ adri@midnight-myst.net Thanks for reading! - Adri


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